It's Christmastime in the City...next year

Aaahhhh...we've just finished the last of the holiday candy this evening. The last pair of Christmas socks has been paired, will be washed tomorrow, and put away. The tree came down on New Year's Eve, rejected gifts have been returned, gift cards spent, all is well. I've got way too much ham in the refrigerator, due to a slavish devotion to bargain shopping and a well-timed BOGO promotion. Yeah, I shoulda donated the darned thing.

SMG and offspring went to GrandSMG's for the festivities. And a good time was had by all, including a rousing gift exchange on Christmas Eve where Moria fought for a power drill when it came time for her trade. At least she didn't go after the dancing/rapping animatronic Santa. I woulda killed her. And then.

I fought with GSMG. On Christmas. In the kitchen. Whilst making rolls. Blech. I feel all dirty inside just writing that. Jeez, we're not traditional in any other way. At all. Why must we be traditionally at each other's throats on Christmas Day? And we don't usually fight, not even on holidays or after spending a week together. The jist of the story is that GSMG backed out of sharing the Christmas Day meal at her house with her kids and grandkids in favor of attending her SO's brother's meal. I called her on it. I had brought a ham, for chrissake, and Laurel was making pies. I was pissed. And hurt. And I told her so and she collapsed into a sobbing heap and her SO yelled at me about my disrespect and told me that I always do this; make other people feel bad so I don't have to feel bad about myself. So I called him on that - Pot? Meet kettle. Yeah, there's about a milliona other things to rehash here, like the fact that Laurel was way hurt by said brother of SO last year when he made a wisecrack about her pregnancy and unmarital status, and the fact that GSMG and SO bicker about his family and avoid talking directly about it and the fact that Christmas Eve was already spent with them...but that's not the point.

The point is that Laurel and I are divorce orphans. (Yeah, us and millions of other kids our age, right?) But we're divorce orphans in our own special way, namely that our holidays are almost always spent with our parents' partners' extended families, not our parents'. On the Daddy side of the equation, his four brothers and sisters and the attendant cousins share the fascinating habit of pathological noncontact. They just don't keep in touch. They love each other, have a good time when together, and only talk once or so a year. It's always been that way. Every now and again, someone tries. But...so if we're in Colorado around the holidays, we get together with Stepmama's family. Who are fabulous and fun and I'm not at all complaining.

On the GSMG side, she and her brother share a simmering feud over...ugh. I don't even know what. I think it has something to do with their folks' stuff or something. We get together, and it's fine, but there's no tradition there. The second and third cousins on her side primarily live in the Twin Cities, but we don't share holidays. Never have. No biggie. But...so if we're in Minnesota around the holidays, we get together with SO's family. Who are largely fun and save the above stuff, I'm not complaining, much.

So we're divorce orphans in the sense that we don't have a big ol' traditional Christmas with cousins and dogs and...nope, that's not it. What I was so upset about, and what Laurel was upset about last year, is that we don't have a single tradition left over from our childhood. We've got nothing that we did as kids that we now share with our kids. What we've done for the holidays, since we've been adults, is be the stepkids. And we told GSMG that we wanted something else. We don't have to resurrect some mythological childhood, and in fact neither of us has many memories of that time anyway. (Hell, pre-divorce is largely blocked from my memory, and post-divorce, I just drank.) We just want to create something that is ours, with no step- prefix. Consider this my Save the Date announcement. Next Christmas. My place.

Which brings us to my resolutions for '07:

1. Figure out whatthehell is wrong with my skin as I'm 31 and entirely too old to still have acne;

2. Give some serious attention to how I want to celebrate the holidays, and create some SMG traditions for the babes.