So I agreed to write something biweekly about politics and all that other wonky stuff I so enjoy. I'd planned to write about school lunch economics last Friday, but then I had a little mamacrisis, so I'm writing about that. The economics of school lunch will have to wait.
My ex, my babys' daddy, that guy I married, we'll call him Sgt. We'll call him Sgt because he is, in fact, a Sgt in the Army of these United States. He triggered my mamacrisis by canceling a planned visit with the kids next week. He canceled because he couldn't get leave - he has to work (and don't even get me started about how I've had to parent even when I wasn't on vacation because then I'd never stop ranting and that's not the point...it's a point, a valid point even, but it's not the point). The point is that he couldn't get leave. His superiors won't let him take the week off, even though he has the leave time available, even though those superiors had suggested that there was planned time off during this week.
Now I could write for days about how my kids' feelings were hurt, how he had disappointed them again, how he made the mistake of telling them before he had the trip confirmed and so had to disappoint them when he could have just kept the whole thing a secret until said confirmation. I could write for days, I tell you, and I'd never use any punctuation other than dashes and ellipses 'cause that's how I type and think when I'm pissed. So I won't. Instead, I'll tell you about Sgt, because he's having a hard time. On the CBS Evening News tonight, Katie Couric outlined how our esteemed Commander in Chief has finally admitted that the U.S. military is stretched to the breaking point, and it only took every military leader in the country to convince him that it was so. I see great progress toward a more responsive White House in the next two years. Here's the bare bones outline of Sgt's life in the last few years:
11/99 - 11/00 Tour in Korea with no leave, no R&R
12/00 - 9/01 Various trainings/exercises/schools: 45 days, 45 days and 30 days
9/01 - 10/01 Lockdown post 9-11
10/01 - 2/03 High alert status; Various trainings/exercises/schools: 45 days, 30 days
3/03 - 5/03 First Deployment to Iraq
6/03 - 10/04 Various trainings/exercises/schools: 21 days, 30 days, 14 days X3
11/04 - 5/05 Second Deployment to Iraq - left on Thanksgiving, which is just plain mean
6/05 - 12/05 Only one training!!! ANCOC for 45 days
1/06 - 8/06 Third Deployment to Iraq
9/06 - 2/07 Scheduled for various trainings/exercises/schools: 7 days, 30 days, 21 days
3/07 - 10/07 Fourth Deployment to Iraq
I'm not sure which to count, the days he's been completely unavailable to parent or the days he's been somewhat available. If you know anything about the military, you know that a regular day will likely run at least 12 hours of work including PT and formations. Similarly, the weeks leading up to a deployment or exercise and the weeks immediately following said event are filled with 16-18 hour days with no weekends. Oh, and just for definition's sake: lockdown means exactly what it sounds like - soldiers locked in a secure location 24/7, ostensibly so they could deploy at a moment's notice - the point is, they couldn't go home; and high alert means soldiers could not be outside a prescribed radius from the base - the point is, there's no leave or travel in this time.
By my count, he's been 'home' for approximately 1,200 days in the last 7 years (2555 days) - slightly less than half the time. Because we're divorced, however, those 'home' days don't qualify as parenting time (and even if we weren't divorced, the number of 16 hour days he's worked render many of those 'home' days irrelevant). He is at the mercy of the leave-grantors for parenting time, and there's no leave on high alert, or in the weeks leading up to or immediately following deployment or training. Do you see the pattern? All his damn weeks are no-leave weeks! He's seen the kids about once a year, most often for less than a week at a time.
I'm so pleased that the President has noticed that the military members are stretched to the breaking point. To say nothing of their equipment, which is held together MacGuyver-style with duct tape and paper clips. To say even less of their families, who have given up on any semblance of normal American life. To say more than nothing of their spirits, which are demoralized and broken. What are they fighting for again? There's no elegant policy solution going forward that is going to repair these broken soldiers, save (perhaps) the draft which would give them some down time - it won't happen. There's no elegant policy analysis to apply that would help families understand the strain and justify the sacrifice. There's empty promises of drawing down and pulling out of Iraq in the next year or so, leaving behind a trail of broken military units, families and individuals. Now that we've admitted we've broken them, I wonder how we'll begin to repair them?
As an update: in an extreme exercise in proving how grown up I am, I've agreed to allow Sgt to join us for Christmas as he would likely not see the kids before his next deployment. Christmas with the ex-husband. Let that be a lesson to you - be VERY specific in your divorce decree.
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